I suddenly have a desire to write about my life experiences, lessons and struggles. I want to leave more than just pictures about my life. Stories are so important. I hope to inspire and motivate others to challenge themselves beyond their comfort zones, and really grow personally, mentally and physically every single day. We weren’t born to just sit here on earth and let time pass. Get outside, read a book, challenge yourself to push beyond. I promise you will amaze yourself!
What got me here?
Pushing through a lot of years of self-hate, abusive relationships, negative outlooks, fear of rejection, fear of living/dying, fear of failure.
The key thing that changed my outlook usually goes back to running and my Professional Hypnotherapist Certification. I experienced some intense out of body experiences and realized a lot of thing, I clued in that everything negative I thought I was or thought might happen was all made up in my head. I had created my self-doubt by believing when other people doubted me. I attracted abusive relationships because I didn’t think I deserved anything better. I had a negative outlook on life because I was afraid to take risks, afraid to be alone, afraid of failing.
I turned to running, and fitness as recovery.
Running is like moving hypnosis for me. I am able to get into a place in my head that I can’t get to on my own. I’ve always had a hard time sitting still, my mind is always wandering and hypnotherapy calmed the noise, allowed me to really target the messages in my head I needed to reprogram. The messages that I no longer needed, because those were never messages I was supposed to hold onto.
Little did I know then I had actually been struggling with ADHD and ODD my whole life. It frustrates me after spending months in a mental health facility that I was diagnosed as an adult. Misdiagnosed and medicated for anxiety and depression for so long when I was dealing with something so different.
But I’ve kept running and running and keep changing, physically, mentally, emotionally all the time. Now those negative messages are simply a motivator to never go back to that place of self-hate.
Here are some photos of myself along my journey.
10 Half marathons – PB – 1:45 hours
2 Full Marathons PB – 3:46 hours
6 50k trail races PB – 5:58 hours
1 50 miler 10:25 hours
1 24 hour event completed 128km in 22:00 hours