Being loved completely unconditionally. I didn’t think could exist. I always felt too difficult to deal with, live with… I physically I demand a lot of time to myself and then emotionally I demand a lot of time and attention in a relationship. Having mental health issues my mood changes at the flip of a switch. In my mind I seemed too much for most people to even want to try to understand. I basically thought I’d rather be alone then be something else for someone. So I avoided other people from dealing with my chaos and saved myself from disappointment.
I gave up any expectation of a happy soulful relationship really being possible. And you know what I was given the greatest surprise. Completely unexpectedly and unintentionally this person walked in my life and immediately changed it. And you know what he actually makes me feel loved completely unconditionally no matter what seems to happen in our lives. Which has not been an easy year for either of us. I feel that no matter how challenging the situation is, whether I screw up, freak out, get mad, have a melt down… I know he’s not afraid to deal with all of me. And that feels pretty amazing. A feeling I never really thought I’d ever really feel. Being able to slowly open yourself up completely to another person seems scary. But honestly it’s not when you have the right person on your side. You want to share your whole heart with them. I’m happy to want to grow and spend my life with someone who completely opened his life for me. Unconditionally accepting me entirely for what feels like the first time in my life. ❤